You know cockroaches? Those freaky little flat things with legs, almost like bacon, but smooth and small. They taste like bacon, I would know. You can often find a cockroach under that old slab of decaying wood in your backyard, in a corner of your dark garage. You can find a cockroach dangling from the maw of your precious pet cat. Cockroaches are a rare and delicious treat. They die fairly quickly, like a human’s mood when they see one. I miss the taste of cockroaches, I haven’t had one in forever. The humans who serve me have gotten better at keeping them out of the house. Maybe some of my fans will send me a box of cockroaches…hint hint.