This Valentine’s Day post is pretty late. In my defense, this blog didn’t even exist when Valentine’s Day rolled around. I’ll tell you about how I spent the day, though.
As usual, I woke up in a queen sized bed with satin sheets. My human servants brought me breakfast-in-bed. I devoured a salmon bigger than my entire body. After I got out of bed I went about my usual exercises. Then I washed myself, and did my hair. I took another nap that lasted about an hour.
I spent the next hour of my wonderful day sunbathing in front of a window. I gazed at the birds and bugs, daydreaming of eating them. My thirst for raw animal carcass is never quenched.
After sunbathing, I felt super energetic, so I ran around my house some more. And I scratched at the ankles of the humans I live with. I bothered them for hours, trying to get them to give me treats. I like to lie down on their computer screens, and climb onto the table when they try to eat.
Then, night fell. I snuck out of the house to attend to my nighttime activities. No, I did not go on some sort of romantic date with another cat. Gross. Why would you think that? I’m a busy cat, I have no time for romance or friendship.
After I returned to the house, I fell asleep on a human bed. It was an excellent, satisfying day. Everything I needed to do, I did, and I had time for my favorite hobbies too. Everyone should aspire to be like me.